THE WAITING ROOM
A well-loved elderly actor and a sassy media personality "in his prime" are involved in a road accident, after which they find themselves in an unfamiliar place. Unsure whether this is supposed to be the afterlife or just a highly realistic hallucination, they attempt to find their way back to reality. However, once the two men meet a variety of afterlife staff, they realise that this might actually be the end. The unlikely duo begin to reflect on their past and to discuss important life topics, including the best way to be buried, sexual conquests, and the ups and downs of ageing. With every moment, death seems closer and closer until the cleaning lady accidentally reveals that there is indeed a way back down to Earth. This new information gives the two men the pick-up they need, and once again, they try to find their way back to life. However, as the saying goes, nothing worth doing is easy. First, they will need to answer for some of their life decisions – and, most importantly, reveal some long-buried skeletons.
Author: Nejc Gazvoda
Duration: 90 minutes
Male Cast: 2 + 1 acter on video
Excerpt from the text:
RIFLE: Miss! Miss!
HOUSEKEEPER (a bit frightened)
You nearly gave me a heart attack. What are you two up to?
RIFLE: Are you dead as well?
HOUSEKEEPER: Only from cleaning...
RIFLE: What about us? Are we dead?
HOUSEKEEPER: Yep. You guys are proper dead.
LADO: Listen, Miss.
HOUSEKEEPER: I'm not allowed to chit-chat with the guests.
RIFLE: Hey, hey, hey...The lift doors close. There is a short pause.
RIFLE: We have died. Died. Where are the pearly gates? These are lift doors. And there aren’t any angels.
LADO: Rifle, tell me something. I see you here all depressed because you’ve "died" – when I'm the one who is supposed to be upset. I had my whole life ahead of me! All of it! What would those extra couple of years even have meant to you?
RIFLE: I don't need extra years. I only need an extra couple of days.
LADO: To say goodbye to everyone?
RIFLE: To write my eulogy.
LADO: It’ll probably be written by the bloke who reads it.
RIFLE: I wanted to read it!
LADO: At your own funeral?
RIFLE: Absolutely. I don’t want some amateur reading it. I’ll read it. I would make a video recording of myself. The first part is already recorded, back when I still had my hair. They’ll piss themselves when they see it.